introducing: red velvet
50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”
Watch the Queen of England age through bank notes.
the fact women are viewed as being more sexy at 15 than 40 is the creepiest thing in the world
when i was 12 years old my health teacher told us all that he thought girls were the most beautiful at age 14-15 and we would never be that beautiful again for the rest of our lives
back then it scared me that i wouldnt stay pretty
once i got older it scared me that he found no shame in saying that, and neither do countless other men
honestly sometimes in school people say the most ridiculous shit and I make this face and look somewhere at an imaginary camera like I’m on The Office
My school has security cameras in every classroom and I’ve done this at least 3 times each class this entire year. Today the security guard came up to me and told me I was his hero.